July 3rd, 2015|

I would say that my self deprecation is second rate at best.

June 29th, 2015|

We thought it was a limitless resource but… Twitter just announced that it has just about run out of tweets. 17 are left and they are rationing them out very very carefully.

June 26th, 2015|

In order to minimize the effort when the time eventually arrives, I’ve come up with the perfect words for my tombstone: “Not the world’s best dancer”.

June 21st, 2015|

I feed the kids, I feed the cat. In the evening I feed the Mosquitoes.

June 18th, 2015|

I was too cheap to buy a smart-watch so I got a smart-alec-watch instead. It shows me tomorrows time and thinks that’s funny.

June 15th, 2015|

I think my answering machine is broken. I left it 6 questions… and…. Nothing.

June 12th, 2015|

I am formally announcing that I am NOT in talks with Warner Brothers for purchasing the rights to my life story. Lets put those rumors to bed.

June 11th, 2015|

I was just sitting around pondering the futility of it all. But then I realized… what’s the point?

June 9th, 2015|

The misanthrope association refuse to renew my membership because I hate some people a bit less.

June 8th, 2015|

My doctor said it would be better if I stopped texting. I asked if it would make me healthier, he said no. But it would make it easier for him to examine me.

June 3rd, 2015|

New is the new new.

May 29th, 2015|

Show me just one End-of-the-World prophecy that turned out to be true and I will start believing in that sort of stuff.