September 1st, 2014|
Before you get into a serious relationship, ask yourself. Is this the person I want to sit across from in restaurants for the rest of my life while he stares at his phone?
August 31st, 2014|
The only things preventing me from being a Jihadist are a total lack of belief, no stomach for blood and virtually no interest in virgins.
August 18th, 2014|
What’s the expiration date on nostalgia?
August 17th, 2014|
Teaching starving kids to consume stupid tweets would solve two of the world’s biggest problems.
August 16th, 2014|
I was trying to figure out why I wasn’t waking up in the morning. Turns out I was using a false alarm.
July 29th, 2014|
Funny = pain + distance. As the distance is not there… we are left with only pain.
July 26th, 2014|
I’m amazed at how much more pleasurable it is to listen to people who agree with me. In fact I completely avoid listening to anyone else.
July 17th, 2014|
To you it may look like I am just loafing around doing nothing. But I am doing this to protect your freedom.
July 15th, 2014|
I don’t get it. There is this guy I unfriended a while ago, yet… he still shows up quite clearly at the bus stop every morning. Where do I need to click to make […]
July 14th, 2014|
I can’t figure out who that guy is that appears in my selfies.
July 13th, 2014|
There is nothing quite like the joy of finding a seat next to a power outlet in an airport.
July 8th, 2014|
Technology!… I have this great new meta hat. The minute I put it on it feels exactly as if I am right here. It is uncanny!