March 2nd, 2015|
I’ve always been a party pooper. I used to just not like parties. Now I take it more literally.
February 17th, 2015|
Good news. I’ve managed to prune my Facebook friend list so perfectly that I am not exposed to a single thought or muttering that I don’t agree with completely.
February 16th, 2015|
My upcoming autobiography will be the first book composed entirely of emoticons.
February 10th, 2015|
Scientists suddenly realize that a rounding error has caused some misconceptions. Turns out there are actually only 12 stars in the galaxy after all.
February 2nd, 2015|
Is it really that strange to have a collection of barbed wire?
January 30th, 2015|
was afraid I was leaving the house disheveled. One glance at the mirror assured
me I was in fact sheveled indeed.
January 23rd, 2015|
I just took the Facebook how good is your memory test. But I prefer darker coffee.
January 18th, 2015|
I think I’m covered. I liked a few posts and declared I am Charlie. Problem averted. That was close.
January 15th, 2015|
I’m all in favor of you loving yourself, just not when you are sitting next to me on the bus.
January 6th, 2015|
Better to have failed than to have never tried at all. Yes. But why so often?
January 2nd, 2015|
Facebook said I had another great year. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.
December 31st, 2014|
My expectations have dwindled through the years and from wishing for world peace I’ve settled on charged mobile devices and less knee pain. Lets make this one a year of small blessings.
So… this year, […]