July 3rd, 2015|
I would say that my self deprecation is second rate at best.
June 29th, 2015|
We thought it was a limitless resource but… Twitter just announced that it has just about run out of tweets. 17 are left and they are rationing them out very very carefully.
June 26th, 2015|
In order to minimize the effort when the time eventually arrives, I’ve come up with the perfect words for my tombstone: “Not the world’s best dancer”.
June 21st, 2015|
I feed the kids, I feed the cat. In the evening I feed the Mosquitoes.
June 18th, 2015|
I was too cheap to buy a smart-watch so I got a smart-alec-watch instead. It shows me tomorrows time and thinks that’s funny.
June 15th, 2015|
I think my answering machine is broken. I left it 6 questions… and…. Nothing.
June 12th, 2015|
I am formally announcing that I am NOT in talks with Warner Brothers for purchasing the rights to my life story. Lets put those rumors to bed.
June 11th, 2015|
I was just sitting around pondering the futility of it all. But then I realized… what’s the point?
June 9th, 2015|
The misanthrope association refuse to renew my membership because I hate some people a bit less.
June 8th, 2015|
My doctor said it would be better if I stopped texting. I asked if it would make me healthier, he said no. But it would make it easier for him to examine me.
June 3rd, 2015|
New is the new new.
May 29th, 2015|
Show me just one End-of-the-World prophecy that turned out to be true and I will start believing in that sort of stuff.