Some days you wake up just thankful to be part of the human race. Wanting to hug each and every partner of yours in that group, thinking we are the greatest. Today was not one of those days.

I’m the last person on earth still alive who still speaks this language I just made up.

I used to have unconditional love for my fellow humans. But, I am currently in remission.

My ancient text is infinitely better than your ancient text. It even says so. So there!