I’m such a generous person that even my selfies are of other people.

Being a spy is much harder than I thought. The most difficult part is getting references between jobs.

I think I should stop believing in this conspiracy theory. But of course, that’s what they want me to think.

For 35 cents my new service, PrayPal, will send a prayer to anyone with an email address. Brought to you by the Miracle company. ‘If it works. .. It’s a Miracle’