I speak my mind because no one likes it when I speak my intestines.

You read me like an open book. Unfortunately I’m more like a brochure.

I am amazed at how much more interesting to me I am than anyone else. I wonder if its the same for other people, but then again, who cares?

Amazon will now deliver junk to you three days before you even knew it existed and a week before you realize it’s totally worthless.