We have just recently received two unexpected gifts, Ebola and ISIS. Luckily, It seems to me, they were made for each other.

My new fitness app has very low expectations of me. “Great job!! You moved for 7.5 minutes today”

This is a great arrangement! One day of introspection and then I can go back to doing exactly as I please, completely disregarding everyone else!

Great! I just received a Groupon that gives you two atonements for the price of one. Just in time. Can’t wait to try it out.