What surprises me is not that I have a common ancestor with a giraffe but that I have a common ancestor with that guy from the post office.

You call this a biography? It doesn’t even have a coloring section…

There really isn’t anything that threatens my masculinity quite as much as the words “Recalculating Route”.

My life so far. Looking for someone to play with, looking for someone to make out with, looking for someone to travel with, Looking for someone to share with, looking for someone to compare pills with, Looking for someone to remind me about the… what was I saying?