Yesterday in a spontaneous moment, I got a bicycle for my grandfather. Today I woke up thinking maybe that wasn’t the best trade in the world.

Wondering today about the big questions. Why am I here? What does this all mean? And where did I leave the car?

I used to have free will. Now it is $19.99.

The germs opened a Twitter account and said that although they are proud of their contribution to history, it would be nice to get a little more respect.